my life and pride

don't you sometimes wish that life was easier. some events make you wanna change your life while some doesn't.sometimes we just wish that life could remain easy with no complications. right now, i really wish it was easier. that i didn't have to make the decisions i made or have to make. some of it may seem petty to most people but it seems HUGE to me.i have made decisions that made me feel bad towards some people as well as selfish but i know that it is the best for me. its not that i do not want to do what they are asking me to do...i really do want to but i know that people will think of me differently after that. i am afraid i guess of what people will think. what can i say, i care about my pride above anything else. my pride is the most important thing to me and i will not put it in jeopardy for anyone or anything.
i would rather be called shelfish then scar my pride. as sad as it is,i know that people will pity me or mock me if they knew. i would be sp scared by then that life may become more difficult. i rather have a crap time than having fun with my friends if it means saving my pride. i am a girl who would never ever compromise anything for her pride. i already did something that has hurt my pride but of course nobody knows about it and i tend to keep it a secret.it was a mistake.
the one time i did not listen to myself, i hurt my own pride.that taught me a lesson. i now know that i should not ever,ever listen to anyone else but myself.i am the only person that can make my decisions.sure, i can get advice from others but ultimately i must answer my own question or problems. nobody else would care what happens to my pride since it is not their own. they will just answer what is most appealing to them.wouldn't there.nobody would know how something may affect a person except the person themseslves.therefore, it is best to make your own decision for your whole life. you may accept advice from others but you are the only person who knows what is best for you.
after reading this,many people may think of me differently.i realise that but this is who i am. i will accept advice. i will consider others feelings.i will feel guilt if i know i may have hurt someone. however, i will ONLY listen to my own heart and answers.my pride is the most important thing to me. other than that, i can still be the same person but this is who i am on the inside. a person who cares about her own pride before anything else.

xoxoxo
Chloe